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1 July 2007
Re-entry depression
Sometimes I can feel like a spoiled brat who throws a tantrum when his world is not the way he wants. This might be such an outburst if it did not feel more like a depression. Nancy used to say that anger is a healthier way to deal with depression. The last few days have been a whirlwind of encounter with pervasive authority that has resulted from the social cancer of our times. After a brief but lovely moment with a burst of sunshine I know as Esme, the bus from the Furniture Cave took ninety minutes due to the traffic chaos that ensued from the Haymarket 'incident' to reach Marble Arch where it was suddenly terminated. We learned later that Park Lane had just been closed due to another 'incident' relating to the first. The vehicle in question this time had been towed the evening before to the car pound for illegal parking. It too was only, about the time we were approaching Marble Arch, discovered to contain petrol, nails and an explosive device.
We were able to get ourselves to the White Cube all the same and see Damien Hirst's fascinating For the Love of God – a diamond encrusted platinum cast of a human skull. Again, even for this, there were security issues. Only a limited number of people were allowed into the black chamber to view the spotlighted and glistening skull. The line and waiting here became only a prelude for the much longer lines and waiting involved with Heathrow check-in, passport control, security control, duty-free control, boarding, immigration and baggage claim the following day.
On the plane to Boston, one of the films I watched was The Shooter staring Mark Wahlberg which simply managed to underscore the likelihood of the corporate cabal behind American government. The types portrayed in the film are already familiar to anyone with even just a passing knowledge of the players who have belonged – or still do – to the present US administration. I suspect, however, that American politics are not alone in their insidiousness and ruthlessness, albeit perhaps the most powerful in our world at present.
The corruption that masquerades itself as democracy is today locked into a death battle with the 'freedom fighters' / 'terrorists' of, for starters, what are now designated as 'Islamic extremists'. These last were yet again brought back to mind as my sister was driving us from Providence to Narragansett when her husband mentioned by phone about the Glasgow Airport 'explosion'. The deadlock between two incomplete systems is not mitigated by the realization that all systems are incomplete. Instead, each seeks to annihilate its opponent system rather than make effort – even clumsy effort – to coordinate as many different systems together as possible. But without that effort, we end up with chaos – a condition that, like its opposing counterpart – that of complete stasis, is finally just plain boring.
Richard and I ritualized later for the eve of the July dies nefasti and walked along the beach – enjoying the postcard perfect scenery and weekend festivities of non-metropolitan America and her succulent prosperity. So far were we now from customs, lethal vehicles and the ongoing contest between contending grabbers of the pie. We were, however, struck by how much Americans are like the Japanese in their abandoned copying of everyone else's achievements and then proceeding to claim them as their own. There is nonetheless an admirable work ethos among both peoples. If there is an opposite to chaos, I contend that it is the organic – the centre of which is both work and energy.
For me the heart of whatever is sacred activity is wishing. To wish, to wish properly, is an art. Confronted by the beauty of Narragansett Bay and its surroundings, I want to acknowledge natural art. The accomplishments of civilization may be thought of as human art. Why, for some, one and not the other? It is the cosmos itself who has wished us into being.
To compliment the wish, there needs to be health, wonder and initiation. This last may take the form of a learning, a discovery, an acquisition of an increase in freedom, for what else is initiation? If it is grounded on organic wishing, the balance and integrity of healthy functioning, and the perception of the wondrousness of life and existence, no matter how difficult and at times painful, initiation is ultimately a positive.
For the moment, though I also would like very much to rendezvous with Susan, Susan, Helen, John, Phyllis and Tom, we are both feeling 'so traveled-out' that our desire, my wish, is to stay put and not move anywhere for the next three months. But at least here, barring the inevitable unexpected, I have email access.
Pace amoreque deorum,
Michael